Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Talk to me.

Communication is an art.

It must be practiced. You must diligently practice communication for it to become a beautiful, seemingly effortless attempt to bridge the gap that exists between two disparate individuals.

If I touch you here, do you like that? If I do this for you, does it please you? Yes, that, that one thing, I want that.

Tell me, anything, or everything, whatever you feel comfortable with, whatever makes you feel comfortable. Tell me.

No one has ever asked, she says. No one ever really seemed to want to know.

And I am appalled.

How is it that people embark on relationships, and don't even care enough to ask the simplest things that might please their partners? It is a heinous thing, a criminal thing, in my mind, to involve yourself with someone, under the pretense of caring, possibly love, and not communicate your needs and wants and desires. To just go through the motions, because of some pre-conceived notion that what you want is all that matters, or that what worked with someone else will work in every instance.

A morning spent driving, and then an idea, fueled by a roadside stand selling fresh, Florida grown tomatos. Toasted tomato sandwiches for lunch? I ask. The affirmative answer is further validated by the quiet delight she takes in watching me prepare something so simple, yet something that so obviously pleases her immensely. It is a small thing, but good things, as they say, come in small packages.

There is a responsibility inherent with involving yourself with someone else. It is incumbent on everyone to take that responsibility seriously, to care enough that you pay attention, that you ask, that you communicate, because every opportunity lost, while it may seem small, inconsequential at the time, will result invariably in huge losses down the road. Those losses will be painful. Why inflict such pain, when you can simply, through discourse, learn what you need to know?

I am here. Talk to me. Tell me. I will listen. And I will pay attention. And over time, with practice, I, and you, will become better at this.

Communication is an art.

Practice it.


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