Thursday, December 9, 2010

What's in a name

It's funny how the brain works.

I was walking home the other day from work (this is about a 45 minute walk. Yes, it's winter, and yes, it's cold, but I walk pretty much every day, and I look really cute in my snow pants.) I had turned off my mp3 player, because after over half an hour of listening to jaunty pop tunes, energetic celtic reels, and driving rock songs, a girl could use some relative silence. And just so you know, I'm one of those crazy people who actually will sing out loud, if I'm particularly caught up in the moment. I don't dance, though. I don't wish to scare people that badly.

My mind, as per usual, was all over the place. It was a beautiful evening, and I was admiring the Christmas lights on the balconies of the apartments in the neighbourhood, when out of nowhere, I thought of my once-best-friend from my school years. We'd remained friends (though we'd drifted apart, as people do) until my mid 20's. When I came out, at the age of 25, I thought I should call her and let her know this about me. And when I did, she sounded politely interested...and then I never heard from her again. Ever.

She was really the only person who ever rejected me. And I remember being hurt, and confused, at the time...but I got over it.

So the other day, I'm walking home, and that whole thing crosses my mind, and I suddenly remembered that her middle name had been Gay (I kid you not). She HATED that name. I remember this distinctly, that she would rail against having such a detestable middle name, and the first chance that she got, when she was an adult and on her own, she was going to change it. Obviously, there is no irony here whatsoever. Why I had not thought of this earlier, I have no idea. I puzzled over that for a moment, and then had to laugh and shake my head, because some things are so glaringly obvious, that to even bother thinking of them is a complete and utter waste of time. Which is probably why I didn't.

I wonder if she ever did change her middle name, though.

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